Intimacy

a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

For so long I have avoided this.

Avoided people.

Avoided friendships.

Avoided the intimacy that comes with it.

Fear has kept me.

I've feared losing someone I cared for.

I've feared the rejection that might occur when I try to open up.

I've feared being myself.

I’ve feared.

Depression hovers over.

My thoughts are hindered.

Feelings of hopelessness, neglect, abandonment, rejection, loneliness sets in.

It's caused me to feel

distant from others.

unacknowledged.

pushed away.

uncared for.

worthless.

I know the Love of God.

I know He’s with me.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way.

Yet I do.

I no longer want to feel this way.

Intimacy.

It's something that I'm learning to take hold of.

It's something that I'm longing for.

It's something that I'm desiring.

To be able to be myself.

To be able to feel loved.

To be able to feel acknowledged.

To be able to be close to someone.

To be able to feel cared for.

To be able to open up.

To be able to have just one friendship that isn't just a surface friendship would mean the world to me.

I believe God will place someone in my life that I will be able to call Best Friend.