Love

"Love."

This famous four letter word has been in our world since the beginning of time. In my short life, I've spoken the word, experienced the word, and watched the word expand more times than I could ever put down on paper. 

Love from a friend, is truly rare. Love from a mother, is highly honored. Love from a brother, is sweetly special. 

But to be in love, is a category all it's own. For it is not words spoken, and it is not shown in good deeds, but it is awakened deeply inside of us. 

I've watched those closest in my life experience that delight. I can see it on her face when she looks into his eyes. I've watched it in his body language as he draws near to her. I have been blessed with the awarness of this deeply rooted emotion consistantly. And then I thought "When will it be my turn?" I've battled with my heart day after day, trying to figure out when and who and how. I arrived at the knowledge of realizing God will bring someone in His time, but I was never satisfied with that conclusion. I wanted it to be my turn now. I was lost wandering, waiting for God to drop something into my lap.

And then it hit me, knocking me to my knees, no air left in my lungs. 
"God delights in his marriage with you." 
I was embraced with the truth that I can experience this type of love for myself, and it's been with me my whole life. 

I would never have been the one to admit to it, but I myself had placed God in a box. He was glorious and active and loved me, of course. But His heart, it flutters at the thought of me. And His mind, it is consumed with my beauty. He is patient and He waits for any single moment He gets to spend with me.

He adores me.

I can live in romance with God. A divine romance that overtakes my every being. One where I, too, jump at the sound of His name. Where my thoughts are consumed with His presence. When every moment of my day, I excite at the thought of spending time with Him. When all I want to do is just be with Him.

It's true love. It's better. It's beyond what I even know, and it's depths reach higher, and wider, and deeper than my heart can feel.

I am not alone in this world. I see those around me with their hands held in someone elses, and I, too, have something to hold on to. Just the sound of His name can fill my heart with gladness. And I rejoice at the thought of living in this romance with my God until He finds it time to send someone on earth to be with me. 

For the first time, I am truly content. I am captivated. I am... no will be... living in intimate devotion with my true love. I will find real joy in being with just Him. I am at freedom to live my life as His own, knowing & believing He will bring someone to me in His time.